Working Mom

Sometimes, well, most of the time it is so difficult to be a working mom... first I have the guilt of not being with her enough, then the guilt of her having to be in childcare for large amounts of time, not being able to take proper vacations with her ect.

I do get vacation time at work, but it comes as you get paid, my old job, once we hit the '1 year' mark we would get 40 hours of vacation. After 2 years 80 hours and so on. My job now you build up 8.62 hours per paycheck and god forbid if you don't have any and something happens in your life.....you spend the next 6 months trying to make up time.

Last February Molly had an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin. It was so severe, her face and lips were swelling up and she had a rash over her entire body.... 40+ hours of PTO -gone. I never really got into the positive again last year. This year, she has been sick and I got the flu, right now I am almost 40 negative and feel like I will never catch up. Granted there is someone else that can, and has helped me out, but I feel guilty asking him for help and him having to use his vacation for her.(even though I know he would, and he has).
My guilt today comes from the fact that Molly has had a sore throat for a week, I have checked it almost everyday to see if there are any spots, swelling, anything... and there isn't, she doesn't have a temp either but that doesn't mean it isn't. I feel shitty, the guilt from work and possibly having to take time off and get crap about it, the guilt about NOT being home and taking care of her, it's going to make me crazy.
We go to the doctor tomorrow for a strep test, which she cries about (whole other story for later)... hopefully the results will be good.

Countdown to Disney!!

I am too excited, I can't really focus at work. I know Disneyland is a "place for kids" but truely I am a kid at heart, and have one as well. I don't know how I am going to make it through a full day of work tomorrow!

Family

What are you supposed to do when you are uncomfortable around certain members of your family. There have been a couple things lately that have caused tension between my sister and I and I am not sure what to do.
Yesterday I went to pick my daughter up at her school (my niece goes there as well) and ran into my sister. I started talking to her about things at work and life in general, it was awkward, made ME feel awkward then the conversation just kind of dropped off and we all walked away.
I really don't know what to do.
A couple weeks ago we were at their house for dinner, when we were leaving my brother in law said to my niece "go hug your aunt" and my niece walked over to his sister and hugged her...how sad is that. My sister is pregnant again, I am worried that the same thing will happen with the new baby.
My other sister moved away last year and now it feels like I am losing this sister, only not by distance.

New Year, New ME

Good thing is I stayed the same this week...I guess that's good. It's been a struggle, my appetite has been a little stronger lately so I am not sure what is going on.
Since we have had to weigh in on Wednesday's because of the work competition it's been harder, I got used to having "cheat" days and not having to weigh in until Thursday. I have been trying to be better about it so far this week (yah, I know it's only been a day). I know I will get there.

We got a Wii Fit last week and so far I have excercised on it everyday, you really do work up a sweat doing it, but also look ridiculous....especially on the hula hoop one.

Yay for exercise!!!!

Disneyland!

Two years ago my parents and I suprised Molly with a trip to Disneyland. She knew that we were going to California, she just thought we were going to San Diego (we were, we just made a pitstop on the way down). We flew into LA and met my parents in the airport, they had to fly in from Boston.
Once we got to the hotel, we told Molly we were going to Disneyland, she started bouncing, then higher and faster and looked like she wanted to jump out of her skin with happiness. We had such a good time, the only damper was the fact that we arrived right before the fires started so there was ash flying through the air for 2 days, if you didn't wear your sunglasses, it got in your eyes.
The look on her face when she saw the Disney Princess' and the different characters was priceless, one I will never forget.

SO Jim and I decided that since we have vacation time, and Molly has springbreak, we will go again. NOT going to tell her probabaly until the day before because we don't want to hear "How many more days" a thousand times between now and then. I am so excited!!!!!

New Year, New ME

Down up, down up, down up. That's how my chart looks. I gained 3 pounds. I haven't been as focused.. not eating HORRIBLY, just not eating as good as I should. Plus I have added lattes back into my "diet" which is a whole lot of empty calories (even though it is a non-fat vanilla latte), it's still 200 calories. I have to get more sleep so I don't need to coffee, then that will cut out those calories. Next week will be better.

Ranting

I don't usually rant about anything (on my blog) but I feel the need to.
With the economy the way it is today is makes me CRAZY listening to professional atheles and celebritys renegociating their contracts, being offered $20 million dollars for 2 years and not wanting to accept less than $29 million (someone in the NFL) Why be so frickin' greedy?!?!!? There are people who can't pay their bills, are getting laid off, power disconnected, losing their homes and car's and YOU WANT NO LESS THAN $29 MILLION IN 2 YEARS!? You are greedy, that's all it boils down to. Does he think he is made of SOLID GOLD? Maybe if some of these people would actually take a cut in pay (I am sure they have enough money stockpiled to last the rest of their lives and their childrens and their children's children for that matter) it would help somewhat with everyone recovering better in these times. I know it is not the answer or a solution but come on!