Working Mom

Sometimes, well, most of the time it is so difficult to be a working mom... first I have the guilt of not being with her enough, then the guilt of her having to be in childcare for large amounts of time, not being able to take proper vacations with her ect.

I do get vacation time at work, but it comes as you get paid, my old job, once we hit the '1 year' mark we would get 40 hours of vacation. After 2 years 80 hours and so on. My job now you build up 8.62 hours per paycheck and god forbid if you don't have any and something happens in your life.....you spend the next 6 months trying to make up time.

Last February Molly had an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin. It was so severe, her face and lips were swelling up and she had a rash over her entire body.... 40+ hours of PTO -gone. I never really got into the positive again last year. This year, she has been sick and I got the flu, right now I am almost 40 negative and feel like I will never catch up. Granted there is someone else that can, and has helped me out, but I feel guilty asking him for help and him having to use his vacation for her.(even though I know he would, and he has).
My guilt today comes from the fact that Molly has had a sore throat for a week, I have checked it almost everyday to see if there are any spots, swelling, anything... and there isn't, she doesn't have a temp either but that doesn't mean it isn't. I feel shitty, the guilt from work and possibly having to take time off and get crap about it, the guilt about NOT being home and taking care of her, it's going to make me crazy.
We go to the doctor tomorrow for a strep test, which she cries about (whole other story for later)... hopefully the results will be good.